HOLLOWGRAMS

~*~ Typing from 115 lbs of PURE CRYSTAL ENERGY ~*~

...wait what was I talking about again? nevermind found my glass pipe...

WHO IS THIS CRYSTAL WIZARD?!

The name's Hollowgrams. 6 feet of pure gaming EXCELLENCE crammed into a 115-pound ROCKET of a body. Yeah, that's right! When I'm not on a 72-HOUR CRYSTAL BENDER tweaking on A3 or grinding Diablo 2, I'm probably telling you EXACTLY what's wrong with your build, your gear, and probably your life choices too.

Look for the guy with the long flowing locks of MAJESTY and the legendary COMB TOOTH pierced through my left nipple. It's both a fashion statement AND emergency hair care tool, PLUS it helps me adjust my CRYSTAL PIPE when my hands are shaking too much! THREE BIRDS, ONE STONE, EFFICIENCY!

My gaming chair is actually 14 milk crates stacked together, which I rearrange EVERY 37 MINUTES for OPTIMAL BLOOD FLOW. Been awake since FEBRUARY! THE SHADOW PEOPLE WATCH ME GAME!

brb cleaning my carpet with tweezers for the 9th time today

GAMING CORNER

When I'm not busy being ABSOLUTELY CORRECT on the internet or TAKING APART AND REASSEMBLING MY KEYBOARD FOR THE 17TH TIME TODAY, I'm dominating these games with skills you couldn't even COMPREHEND:

A3: I've got the MOST FEARED Alien on the ENTIRE BROWSER GAME! My mining operation produces 47,000 RESOURCES PER HOUR because I click FASTER THAN HUMANLY POSSIBLE! I've shitposted in EVERY SINGLE FORUM thread and my fishing skill is MAXED OUT at 10,000% efficiency! If you see "xX_H0llowGr4mz_Xx" attacking your colony, just SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY and save yourself the embarrassment. I've been playing for 142 HOURS STRAIGHT and I CAN COMMUNICATE TELEPATHICALLY WITH THE SERVER!

★★★ LEGENDARY ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED ★★★
WON 1,000,000 CREDITS IN A SINGLE CHESS MATCH!
(other player disconnected after I moved my queen but IT STILL COUNTS!)

Diablo 2: My Hammerdin can clear Hell difficulty faster than you can say "is that guy's nipple pierced with a comb tooth?" YES IT IS AND YES I CAN. I've reorganized my inventory 734 TIMES for MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY. Each pixel MATTERS!

Online Forums: My main game. 37,892 posts and counting. Specializing in telling people why they're wrong about EVERYTHING. I type so fast I've MELTED THREE KEYBOARDS THIS MONTH! My shitposting is so LEGENDARY that moderators created SPECIAL RULES just for ME!
Crystal Crafting: Not the jewelry kind! My SPECIAL RECIPE makes the CLEANEST PRODUCT west of I-95! Why sleep when you can LEVEL UP IN REAL LIFE?!

did I feed my fish today? do I have fish? those swimming spots might just be on my walls...

CRYSTAL THOUGHT ZONE

so i was thinking about how game devs just don't GET IT anymore like back in 1997 that was the GOLDEN AGE when games were GAMES and not just fancy graphics with no SUBSTANCE and everyone's all like "ooooh look at these particle effects" BUT CAN YOU EVEN PLAY THE GAME FOR 72 HOURS STRAIGHT WITHOUT GETTING BORED???? i didn't think so!!!!! anyway i've been up for like 14 DAYS working on my perfect build and let me tell you about the CONSPIRACY in the latest patch that NERFED my character specifically because the devs are AFRAID of my power level!! the GOVERNMENT is in on it too trying to SLOW ME DOWN because i figured out that all the NPCs are actually coded with REAL PEOPLE'S BRAIN PATTERNS!!! why do you think they need all that COMPUTING POWER?? WAKE UP!!!!

wait what day is it? is it still 2025? did I time travel again? my TEETH are RECEIVING SIGNALS

MY CRYSTAL SCHEDULE

Here's how I maintain my PEAK PERFORMANCE:

2:17 AM - 9:42 AM: Grind A3 while SIMULTANEOUSLY mining, fishing, attacking aliens, and shitposting in 14 DIFFERENT FORUM threads
9:43 AM - 11:58 AM: INTENSIVE crystal maintenance and equipment cleaning with a TOOTHBRUSH
11:59 AM - 12:01 PM: POWER NAP (optional)
12:02 PM - 1:47 PM: Challenge NOOBS to chess matches with 1 MILLION CREDIT bets then DISASSEMBLE MY ENTIRE GAMING STATION down to each INDIVIDUAL CABLE
1:48 PM - 2:16 AM: A3 MARATHON SESSION while developing my GRAND UNIFIED THEORY OF ALIEN MECHANICS which I write on my WALLS

🏆 CHESS GRANDMASTER STATUS ACHIEVED 🏆
Total Credits Won: 4,738,219
Total Opponents Crushed: 28
(Most disconnected when they realized who they were playing)

CONTACT ME

You can reach me at any of these places if you want to hear MORE TRUTH:

A3 Browser Game: Usually in the mining sectors or attacking YOUR BASE between 2am and 9am (I NEVER SLEEP)
A3 Forums: Just search for the posts with the MOST CAPS LOCK and 37 EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!
IRL: Good luck finding me, I move FAST and FREQUENTLY (last seen disassembling a traffic light because it was "SENDING ME MESSAGES")
Shadow Realm: Just listen carefully, I'm probably talking to your houseplants when you're not home

SIGN MY BRAIN-MELTING VISITOR LOG!!!

Leave your DIGITAL ESSENCE in my CYBERSPACE REGISTRY or just READ what other INFERIOR BEINGS have written! I CHECK THIS EVERY 7 MINUTES while SIMULTANEOUSLY playing 12 chess games!

VISITOR COUNT: 8,473,921

(8,473,920 of those were me checking if the site was working)